Men's Day 2015 Part 1

In Germany, Father's Day is celebrated by all men. It's actually called "Männertag" (Men's Day) and falls on Ascension Day; the day that, according to Roman Catholiciscm, Jesus ascended to Heaven after His resurrection. Fun fact for those of you who are wondering: this tradition dates back to the eighteenth century when prizes were awarded to fathers after Ascension Day parades in rural areas.

Men who are fathers generally spend the day with their families. Men who are not fathers use it as an excuse to go day drinking and get wasted, then continue drinking into the night whereupon they are shitfaced around 5 am.  It's a national holiday and always falls on a Thursday, so naturally everyone takes Friday off as well and the streets can be fairly chaotic.

This year, Mario would be spending the day with his friend Olli. I am good friends with his girlfriend, Jenny, so she and I decided to have our own girls' day. We ate breakfast together around 11 am, and then the boys left to celebrate "being a man." Meaning having their first drink around 11:30, and many more thereafter.

She suggested that we go to a couple art galleries. A quick check online and we were on our way to Alexanderplatz. In the Ubahnhof we saw our first sign of Männertag: a group of 5 or 6 guys dressed like Superman. They had rigged up a little kid's wagon as a portable bar, decorated with Superman's red and blue colors and logo, and had speakers playing the Superman movie theme. It was pretty elaborate and also funny as hell. They kept doing the Superman pose as if they were flying, one fist in the air.

The gallery turned out to be closed, so we poked around at a Flohmarkt (a flea market) and headed to Museum Island, a clustering of diverse museums here in Berlin. You can buy tickets for each individual museum or, if you are a tourist and want to get your money's worth, you can buy a master ticket and spend the whole freaking day wandering around looking at old stuff.

On the way there we stopped to drink a beer. I had my wine and sipped it a bit while sitting on a park bench and pretending to be asozial, one of those day-drinking rednecks who hang out in front of Spätis (corner stores, very popular here in Berlin). We were right on a major tourist pathway between sights so I got a lot of funny looks. Mission accomplished.

We headed to the Pergamon Museum, which is cool because it has several huge displays including the Ishtar Gate from Babylon, which is a towering beautiful blue tribute to one of the greatest cities of the ancient world; the Market Gate of Miletus, which is a dominating two-story high, 30m wide monument; and the Mshatta Facade, an intricate palacial facade of an ancient desert castle in Jordan.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/Pergamonmuseum_Ishtartor_05.jpg

Mario was writing us periodically with updates so that we [aka Jenny] wouldn't worry. She kept saying things like "I wonder what the boys are doing now," and "I wonder what the boys are doing now." It seemed like they were just hanging out at our apartment drinking and Olli was singing and playing the guitar. He's quite good at it for someone who is self-taught, and it's his biggest passion. We sent them a few pictures too.

Men's Day Fun - Olli (L) and Mario

Sophistication and Culture - Girls' Day at the museum

I am someone who can appreciate museums, but I do have my saturation point. I have to see the coolest stuff first because once I reach that point, I am just wandering around staring at more old stuff instead of appreciating it for how cool it is. I also have persistent lower back pain, compounded by too much time on my feet, so by the time we left the museum my back had fused into one grinding ache.

We went to Dolores, a California-Mexican restaurant. I had no idea that Dolores referred to the Dolores in San Francisco. The walls were plastered with blown-up street maps of the Dolores Park and Mission neighborhoods of the city. I stared at the maps, reliving my memories in that glorious city. The walking tour with my brother that we had to cut short because the poor guy's foot was fractured and he couldn't stand to walk anymore; the day in the park with my cousin, when a guy randomly brought out DJ equipment and was spinning tunes while strangers gathered around and had a mini-dance party, sharing weed and throwing beach balls around; the towering hills rising out of nowhere, making you feel like you were on top of the whole world as you stared down at the entire city... I was nostalgic but Jenny was unimpressed, so instead of blabbing on about SF I just stuffed my face with my vegan burrito bowl, feeling like a cow as twig-sized Jenny picked at her salad.

With our early dinners down the hatch, we headed to a nearby art gallery Jenny had seen online. She's an aspiring photographer and loves going to those things. It was.. Interesting. Very tiny, with only 12 or 13 exhibits crammed into a single small room filled with people. One of the pieces of "art" looked like someone had dug up metal chain link fence posts, painted them pink, and badly taped pieces of paper with Sinhalese writing on them. No joke. The concrete was still on the bottom of the posts. We moved around the room and Jenny gave me her artistic opinion on the art, which ranged from a picture of a man holding a mirror and looking at himself to abstract colors on canvas. There was also a painting of skeletons walking to a funeral, most of whom looked old and somber in pinstriped suits and bowling hats. They had normal bodies and hands, just skull heads. One was even in a wheelchair. And then towards the end there was this sassy voluptuous blond skeleton in a super short skirt and huge boobs, carrying a skull under her arm. Unfortunately there were no explanations of the art, so Jenny and I amused ourselves trying to explain what the heck was happening in this picture. My theory was that the bombshell skeleton was the mistress of the rich old skeleton who died and that's why she was prancing her way to the funeral. But who knows, really?

The room quickly filled up to the point that there was no more room, and we had already done our tour, so we squeezed past the artsy hipsters who were chatting with people like they knew everyone already. They probably did. There was a small camera crew outside interviewing the artists and we stopped to listen for a few minutes, but Jenny could see that I was itching to sit down so we headed back to her apartment for tequila sunrises and girl talk.


Stay tuned for Part 2! It involves a weekend stay in a hospital, 8 stitches, and ruined bloody clothes!

10 Phases of Watching German TV as an Expat

Moving to another country is a complicated process, and watching TV is an excellent way to have insight into the culture and improve your understanding of the language. Plus, true to Germany's "tax everything possible" policy, everyone has to pay a TV tax regardless of whether or not they have a TV, so you might as well use it, right?

I started learning German pretty intensively right around the time when I started dating my boyfriend, who can't speak much English. Due to external circumstances, we moved in together pretty quickly, and my German was still in its infantile stages. It was also the first time that I had access to a TV since coming to Germany. Alone at home while my boyfriend worked, I ended up watching several hours of TV each day. Note: I was also working out, cleaning the apartment, and getting outside when the weather was nice. No judging! While it was incredibly tedious at first, it played a HUGE role in improving my German very quickly.

For fun, here are the 10 basic phases of watching German TV:

1. You just stare at the TV, unable to pick out more than just a few words. At this point you're watching to get used to the sound of the language and not for comprehension. You are also still watching movies and TV shows in your native language, possibly with subtitles in German if you're being ambitious.
2. You've studied a bit and learned some more vocabulary. Most of what you hear is still gibberish, but sometimes you can understand an entire sentence! A small victory indeed, but you pat yourself on the back anyway. At this point you'll take anything you can get.
3. You're slowly increasing your vocabulary so you know what these crazy-looking subtitles mean. And you are realizing that German grammar has almost nothing to do with English, forcing you into a little black box of "I can't do this!" despondency. You finally realize you really can't do this on your own. Forget your hopes of magically learning German -- it's going to take some serious studying.
4. Take a break from the TV (it's not like you understand the shows anyway) and spend some time with actual books to learn this impossible language. You're pleased to realize that those viewing hours from step 1 - 3 were not wasted -- you have a slightly better understanding of the spoken language than you thought. You're still struggling to keep your head above water at this point.
5. OK! Break over. You've got the basic grammar down and you've memorized an impressive list of the most common vocabulary. Time to turn on the TV again.
6. You're watching your favorite TV shows and movies in German, with subtitles of course. And I mean movies that you have seen a million times and can almost recite by heart. A pocket dictionary is by your side at all times. You spend more time staring at the subtitles than watching what's happening with the actors. Frustratingly, sometimes the captions don't match up with what they say.
   Unforseen side effect:
   TV is no longer the relaxing, brain-numbing pastime it once was. You have to work to watch. A 20 minute sitcom leaves you feeling like you've been teaching yourself calculus -- which you have been, in a way.
7. You're slowly memorizing the German text from watching the same shows over and over. You don't rely on the subtitles anymore and can actually watch the action on screen now, jumping back to subtitles quickly for a bit of help.
   Unforseen side effect:
   You are really, really thrown off by the mismatch between the actors' lips forming words in English and hearing the German voice over. You never before realized how much you relied on mouth movements to understand what someone is saying. You have to train yourself to stare at their eyes. Also, while they usually find a German actor with a similar voice, sometimes you are totally thrown off by the voiceover. This happens way more often with cartoons, for some reason.
8. Fast forward in time. You've been studying since Step 4 and now it's time to leave your safe TV/movie reruns (thank goodness, you were getting so sick of them!) and venture into real German TV. You quickly realize that the news, and documentaries, are your new best friend. They speak Hochdeutsch (proper "high" German) and clearly. No confusing slang, mumbling, or accents. Also, while closed captioning is required for handicapped persons, the actual amount of captioned shows varies. And when the show actually does have captions, you realize that, like your favorite newly-hated TV shows, the captions often don't match up.
   Obvious side effect:
   You quickly become an expert on current world events and WW2 documentaries (which .is apparently all that Germany has, unless you stay up late and watch UFO conspiracy docs, imported from the US). Great for trivia nights!
   Unforseen side effect:
   See that cultural differences really do exist, especially towards nudity. Naked voluptuous women showering? No problem! Show it on the "Good Morning Germany"-type show when families are breakfasting together. "But it's just a human body," they say. "Kids see their parents and each other naked all the time," they say. Yeah, maybe -- but it doesn't stop my boyfriend from yelling "TITTEN!" whenever boobs flash on the screen.
9. Graduate to normal TV shows, but keep your training wheels, aka subtitles. You are getting better at understanding conversational German and learning all kinds of interesting expressions (and swear words, because they don't carry the same weight as they do in English and are used relatively frequently in normal conversation). You're also getting pretty jaded from seeing butts and boobs on screen.
   Unforseen side effects:
   Realize how many TV shows America exports, and how great they are compared to German TV. Become actually appalled at the quality of most German TV shows, with either a) are not funny; b) are just plain annoying; c) have terrible effects, acting, and plot lines; d) are a pitiful shadow of American TV shows.
10. Several months after your TV journey started, you graduate to the last and final step: watching whatever you want without subtitles (but let's not lie, most shows didn't have them anyway). No, you don't understand 100% -- but the balance is more like 90% for news shows, and 75% for normal TV. What you don't get is easily figured out by context clues on the screen. And there's always the "Ask a buddy" option if you're watching with a native speaker...unless it's "Who Wants to be a Millionaire," in which case you need to just give up now because you're never gonna understand that show. Congratulations! You've persevered and now have a wonderful/shocking/shameful window into German culture whenever you want.
    Unforseen side effects:
    Become so annoyed by Germany's sitcoms, dramas, reality TV, and soap operas (other than GZSZ, which is the only soap opera I'd ever watch because it RULES) that you give up on watching them altogether, which is ironic because you started this whole process so that you could watch them in the first place. Luckily, they are pretty good at showing good, relatively new (American) movies every night at 8:15, directly after GZSZ -- so there's your evening TV program. 

The park that never ends - Tempelhofer Feld

This weekend my friend Jan was visiting from Hamburg. Because the weather had finally taken a turn for the better, we ventured out to a new part of the city for me: Tempelhofer Feld.

bz-berlin

As I mentioned before, Berlin is 44% park. After going to Tempelhof, I can see where 43% of that green space comes from. If you've flown into Berlin before 2008, you might have a different view of Tempelhof -- the view from inside the terminal. Yes, that's right -- the park is an AIRPORT.

It officially opened its doors in 1923, and was named Tempelhof after the Knights Templar who made it their stomping grounds waaaay back in the day. It was busiest from 1938-1939. Not surprising.

wikipedia

pressechronik

Tempelhof was closed in 2008 in an attempt to centralize air traffic in Berlin and make Schönefeld the main airport. At the time, there were 3 airports in opposite corners of the city -- not good for noise pollution, and probably making air traffic controlling a nightmare.

The airport remained unused except for the occasional tradeshow or fair, which were held inside the hangar.  The rest of the time, the huge space was left untouched. So, instead of expensive development projects, in 2010 Berlin decided "What the hell, let's just make it a park."  In true lazy Berlin fashion, everything was left exactly the same -- they took down the barbed wire on the fence around the airport and put up a sign saying that it's a park, and that's about it.  The airport itself remains, and the hangar continues to be used for trade shows and raves. There was actually a rave that day, and the thumping bass of the techno rolled over the park from the hangar.  Nevermind that it was 4pm -- when Berlin parties, it's a weekend-long affair, sunlight be damned.

bz-berlin

In addition to the ravers in the cavernous hangar, day-living Berliners were rollerblading, kiteboarding, and biking on the runways and picnicking on the grass. Tons of people lugged little portable grills out with them and were roasting various kinds of meat and sausages à la Germany.

pollimagazin

tempelhoferfeld.info

There are some important lessons I learned about visiting Templehof, which I will share with you in case you ever get the chance to visit it in the hopes that you will learn from my mistakes:

• We were meeting a group of Jan's coworkers who also happened to be in Berlin this weekend. They arrived before us, and we mistakenly thought we could just give them a call and meet up. No way, Jose. We forgot to take into account one very important factor: the park is a freaking airport. After walking all over Berlin earlier that day, we were looking forward to sitting down and resting our tired feet. We arrived at the park..and had to walk almost the entire length of the thing just to get inside the nearest entrance. And THEN, once inside we were confronted with the massive airfield. We wandered around for a while, moving from one picnicking group to another and finally realized that we could do this all day and never find them. Using Whatsapp, his friends showed us their location in the field. And we realized that they were clear on the other side of the park, a good 40 mn walk away. I actually stopped to sit and eat an apple for some quick energy. According to runningmap.com, we walked 2.36 miles -- just to get to where his friends were. Lesson learned: plan where to meet and enter the park through the closest gate.

Our journey to find Jan's friends

• The weather was super nice and sunny, so we dressed accordingly -- short sleeves, etc. Years of living in San Francisco taught me to be prepared for everything, since going from one neighborhood to the next block often meant a drop of 10+ degrees and a wall of fog. I quickly learned to always bring a light jacket with me. Inside Berlin the buildings block most of the wind, but the huge expanse of Templehof is devoid of buildings. Chilly winds constantly swept across the field (probably why it's so popular with kite skaters) and I was constantly pulling on my jacket and taking it off -- even sometimes wishing I had brought a heavier one with me. Lesson learned: wear layers, regardless of how warm it is in your neighborhood.
• The bathrooms are real bathrooms - full plumbing, stocked with paper, and even a cleaning lady. It's a nice change from the bushes that most European parks provide. HOWEVER.. I may have mentioned earlier that the park is huge. This therefore means that bathrooms are about a mile away from each other. How do you find one? Look for where lots of people are camped out with their little portable bbqs, and then hike for half an hour. Lesson learned: park your picnic close to the bathroom, or go when you see one -- you never know when the next one will come around.
• One of Jan's friends brought his dog along. The dog was some kind of hound mix, big but so chill -- off leash he just sniffed around and hung out. And then he got the idea of exploring on his own while the owner was chatting away. No harm done, just some wandering and sniffing. But all of a sudden we heard a yell and a whistle, and two park officials came over wearing bright orange windbreakers. I didn't get everything but it was obvious that the dog was not welcome and should be kept near us at all times. "Clean up all this when you leave, too," they added for good measure, indicating our picnic supplies and beer bottles. Then they stalked off to rain on someone else's parade. Lesson learned: keep your dog nearby, no matter how well behaved. Or else you'll be given a stern scolding from the Park Patrol.

tempelhoferfeld.info

All in all it's a really unique place -- where else can you rave inside an airplane hangar and rollerblade on a tarmac on the same day? The huge, flat expanse of the park ensures that there is more than enough space for everyone, but is not for the mobility-impaired. Unless you are sticking to the tarmac, in which case you are golden. Just be sure to come prepared and park yourself in the right place, with an eye out for the Park Police.

Ähmmmm like everyone knows Seeed

Today was a holiday in Germany. Not in the US, unfortunately, so while Germans everywhere were enjoying their rather inconveniently placed Thursday holiday, I was at the office. As I maaaay have mentioned once or twice, I love my team, so it was less like work and more like hanging out with friends.

Around midnight I got a message from Dingens, who had been enjoying the holiday festivities all evening. Here is an excerpt. Please read all of his comments in italics in a very disdainful, incredulous tone (as in, "Do you know who Johnny Depp* is?" "No, who is he?" "O.M.G. you don't know? He's only like the most famous actor in all of the world. I can't believe you don't know him. Everyone knows him. Have you, like, been living under a rock or something?!?") *Johnny Depp is only the first name I came up with..but you have to agree, pretty much everyone in the world knows who he is

Hey wie ist die Arbeit

we are getting ready to leave soon

wie geht es bei dir

you still worked like long.I'm heading home. it was very good

good!! where did you go

we eat a Döner at the janowitzbrücke it's a thing we used to do and then we went to the east side gallery and met some other friends

sounds so nice!

yeah it was. they are still there

btw do you know Seeed

?? no

no??

most famous band in Berlin. Google them

nope i don't know them

that's ridiculous

what are some good songs

ähhhhmmmmm like everyone

of course

look at you tube.it gonna show you the best ones. It's German though

do you like them?

yeah I do

in Berlin everyone knows them. It's nearly impossible to get tickets for their concerts

why are you asking me about it

I was just listening to them in my way home

and I was wondering if you know them because everyone who lives in Berlin should know them

My favorite part is "ähhhhmmmmm like everyone". I think I'm going to add "Ähhhhmmmmm" to my vocabulary. The umlauts (dots above the a) are very expressive. Like two disapproving eyes staring at you for being so ignorant. And just in case you didn't get that you are obviously not in the know, he follows with not one, not two, but three staring faces. The cold German Stare somehow echoes in their pixellated eyeballs, freezing the soul:

  

       

              

*shivers*

If you think that's bad, try being on the Ubahn. Buuuut back to topic..Seeed. Wiki says:

Seeed is a German reggae/dancehall band from Berlin. Founded in 1998, they have become well-known in Germany and its neighboring countries. Seeed and Cologne's singjay Gentleman are among Germany's most popular reggae musicians.
Seeed consists of eleven band members, including three singers, a horn section and a DJ. Seeed is recognized for their unusual use of horns. They have worked with Cee-Lo Green, Anthony B, Tanya Stephens, General Degree as well as other Jamaican artists and producers. Almost all of their music releases feature a popular guest experience.

Anyway, so the rest of you won't have to share in the shame of my ignorance, here are some of Seeed's songs. It is a sound that comes from Berlin, more upbeat and electronic than reggae to echo the vibrant electro scene here. Like many American rappers, the lyrics often refer to their hometown of Berlin and the music videos feature the city as well. Watch and enjoy the sights and sounds of my new home, because ähhhhmmmmm like everyone knows Seeed.

Dating in Germany: Part 1

So, I will admit it. I am pretty clueless about dating in Germany, despite having had 3 German boyfriends in the past (plus Dingens). I met two of them in the US, so the courtship was on American terms. I guess there's an unspoken rule to do as the Romans do or something. So now the shoe is on the other foot, and it's up to me to accommodate the other culture. It's not easy though. The whole scene is just so different from the US.

How it normally works in the US:
Girl goes out to a bar with friends. Total Stranger Guy comes up and starts conversation with this girl, probably with some cheesy line or an offer of a drink. Girl accepts. They exchange numbers (or go home together). They see each other again, usually for lunch or coffee. Commence awkward "Getting to know you" conversation because they were too drunk during the initial meeting to remember anything they talked about. They see each other again, maybe for dinner or a movie. And after a few more dates, it's time for the talk (even more awkward than the coffee date.. "Soooooooo, just wondering.. Am I your girlfriend?") And then it's official and everyone is happy.

How it works in Germany:
Girl goes out to a bar with friends. Total Stranger Guy looks her in the eye for about 3.5 seconds. Girl thinks "I wonder if he'll come over to talk to me." He doesn't, but ten minutes later, Guy looks her in the eye again. 5 seconds this time. Girl wonders, "Do I have something on my face?" Later on in the night, they cross paths again. Guy looks her in the eye again. Still from several feet away, still no conversation. Girl thinks, "He's a fucking psycho," and stays away from him for the rest of the night, pointedly ignoring his stares.

It's something like this:

"Hey girl, I'm totally into you." 

No wonder the birth rate in this country is declining.

After doing some research on the subject, it seems that there are some underlying cultural reasons for their roundabout flirting.

Germany is a progressive country. The machismo culture of the Mediterranean seems to be directly related to the average annual temperature -- the further north you go, the less of it there is. By the time you reach Germany, the women are fully equal in society and relationships. They are practical, independent, and to the point. This means they are totally OK with saying "I'm not interested, go away." Apparently this has happened often enough over time that straightforward hitting on has been weeded out of the culture, and now guys signal that they are interested with a look lasting longer than a few seconds. Or multiple looks. Then the ball is in the girl's court. The German flirting is a definite improvement over the annoying random guy grinding behind you at a club. It was just really weird until I realized what was actually going on ("Why are there so many creepers with staring problems in here??")

One blogger put it quite succinctly: "Basically, men are afraid to make fools of themselves, because that’s precisely the risk that flirting entails, and Germans don’t go in for risks. They like to do things properly and thoroughly, not spontaneously or irrationally."

I can vouch for that. Dingens is a prime specimen - good looking, intelligent, diverse interests, etc. Yet for all his good attributes, he's super sensitive and constantly worried that he will do/say something that will show him in a bad light. I finally told him, "Look, I like when people are weird. I am plenty weird and do tons of stupid things. I like you, so just be yourself." He was relieved and he's opened up more since then, but it makes me wonder -- what the hell do German women do for men to be so skittish?

Fun possibly related fact: German men are trained to pee sitting down from a very young age. It has sparked quite a few threads, including this hilarious one from reddit: "A woman was saying that it was totally gross if men stand to pee because they splatter pee all over the place and the men were hanging their heads in shame although one guy did say that he's allowed to stand to pee at the toilet he has in the basement." Pure gold. You'll often see signs politely demanding "Bitte im sitzen pinkeln" - please pee sitting down.

 yatego

Anyway, back to the topic..Another reason why it's unusual to be hit on here: Germans, like the French, are cliquey. They have a core group of friends and it's hard to "break in" as an outsider. If they go out, they normally stay just within that group. It's a blessing and a curse -- great if you are also just out with your friends and not looking for anyone..BUT, if you're interested in meeting someone new, good luck and be prepared to do the leg work!

So, let's say that you  have mastered the "German pick up line" and how to initiate conversation after the guy gives you the look. Congratulations, you've finally managed to get a date with a German! But the cultural differences don't stop there. There are still some important things to note before the date itself. German men are:

• Extremely punctual.  He might even be *gasp* early and irritable if he has to wait around for you. The exception is if he's more Berliner than German, in which case he'll likely be fashionably late. Still, it's better to be ready on time -- you never know.
• You have to plan ahead for dates. Germans love scheduling things, and you're likely to get "I already have plans," if you wait too long to set a date. He's not blowing you off -- German honesty doesn't allow that, and he'd just say "I don't really like you." Nope, he has actually already made plans. Spontaneity is not valued much here.
• Neither is small talk. Germans are direct and say what needs to be said, not much more. Expect to get into engaged conversations about things they are interested in and serious, well-thought answers to your questions. The plus side: he will remember what you say because he's not just daydreaming in his happy place while you blab on about your (recent shopping trip, night out with your girls, dog back home, etc).
• Also, Germans are unwavering in their opinions. They consider all the facts before making up their mind about something, but once they decide the 'best' way, they think all other conflicting opinions are moronic and not worth considering. My first German boyfriend said "That's so stupid," in response to a comment I made. The directness and honesty was quite a shock to me, especially having grown up in the South and being used to white lies to protect the others' feelings and be polite. The memory is actually burned into my mind, like when something traumatic happens to you.  
• They study way longer than Americans -- it's totally normal to meet a 28 year old who's still in uni. Be prepared to talk about things other than careers, and forget about finding a young successful businessman (or engineer, in the case of Germany. I think engineering is the only acceptable course of study here).
• They are not religious. 56% of the country is atheist/agnostic, as Germans are far too practical to believe in something like an omniscient bearded man living in the clouds. True to form, the direct and honest German might even scoff openly if the subject comes up. 
• Expect to split the bill. German women are equals, remember? Sorry to all my ladies who go out on dates just for free dinner and drinks -- that won't fly here.
• Also, don't ask questions if you don't want an honest answer. "What do you think of my new dress" might not get you the white lie that an American would give. "Mmhh, I don't really like the color" is a perfectly acceptable answer here. On the plus side, if he says he likes you or pays a compliment, you can trust that it's how he actually feels. Just be sure to repay the favor and resist your temptation as an American to be polite and avoid hurting feelings. He'll take you at your word, and you might find yourself dragged to watch countless football (soccer) matches because you once said "I like football" in an attempt to seem cool.

So, keeping this in mind -- Part 2 will discuss what to expect when you're actually seeing each other regularly. Once you get the basic principles of German culture down, it makes sense. But at first the learning curve is a bit steep and you might be left wondering "Does he even like me?" as I did many a time.

So why don’t men here flirt? Partly it’s about conforming to standards: getting a wolf whistle as you walked down Unter den Linden would be a bit much. But I don’t believe any German woman could justifiably be offended by being approached by a friendly stranger – that’s just an excuse. Basically, men are afraid to make fools of themselves, because that’s precisely the risk that flirting entails, and Germans don’t go in for risks. They like to do things properly and thoroughly, not spontaneously or irrationally. Forget genetic predisposition, or even cultural conditioning. Germans just aren’t into extreme sports.S

So why don’t men here flirt? Partly it’s about conforming to standards: getting a wolf whistle as you walked down Unter den Linden would be a bit much. But I don’t believe any German woman could justifiably be offended by being approached by a friendly stranger – that’s just an excuse. Basically, men are afraid to make fools of themselves, because that’s precisely the risk that flirting entails, and Germans don’t go in for risks. They like to do things properly and thoroughly, not spontaneously or irrationally. Forget genetic predisposition, or even cultural conditioning. Germans just aren’t into extreme sports.