Men's Day 2015 Part 1

In Germany, Father's Day is celebrated by all men. It's actually called "Männertag" (Men's Day) and falls on Ascension Day; the day that, according to Roman Catholiciscm, Jesus ascended to Heaven after His resurrection. Fun fact for those of you who are wondering: this tradition dates back to the eighteenth century when prizes were awarded to fathers after Ascension Day parades in rural areas.

Men who are fathers generally spend the day with their families. Men who are not fathers use it as an excuse to go day drinking and get wasted, then continue drinking into the night whereupon they are shitfaced around 5 am.  It's a national holiday and always falls on a Thursday, so naturally everyone takes Friday off as well and the streets can be fairly chaotic.

This year, Mario would be spending the day with his friend Olli. I am good friends with his girlfriend, Jenny, so she and I decided to have our own girls' day. We ate breakfast together around 11 am, and then the boys left to celebrate "being a man." Meaning having their first drink around 11:30, and many more thereafter.

She suggested that we go to a couple art galleries. A quick check online and we were on our way to Alexanderplatz. In the Ubahnhof we saw our first sign of Männertag: a group of 5 or 6 guys dressed like Superman. They had rigged up a little kid's wagon as a portable bar, decorated with Superman's red and blue colors and logo, and had speakers playing the Superman movie theme. It was pretty elaborate and also funny as hell. They kept doing the Superman pose as if they were flying, one fist in the air.

The gallery turned out to be closed, so we poked around at a Flohmarkt (a flea market) and headed to Museum Island, a clustering of diverse museums here in Berlin. You can buy tickets for each individual museum or, if you are a tourist and want to get your money's worth, you can buy a master ticket and spend the whole freaking day wandering around looking at old stuff.

On the way there we stopped to drink a beer. I had my wine and sipped it a bit while sitting on a park bench and pretending to be asozial, one of those day-drinking rednecks who hang out in front of Spätis (corner stores, very popular here in Berlin). We were right on a major tourist pathway between sights so I got a lot of funny looks. Mission accomplished.

We headed to the Pergamon Museum, which is cool because it has several huge displays including the Ishtar Gate from Babylon, which is a towering beautiful blue tribute to one of the greatest cities of the ancient world; the Market Gate of Miletus, which is a dominating two-story high, 30m wide monument; and the Mshatta Facade, an intricate palacial facade of an ancient desert castle in Jordan.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/Pergamonmuseum_Ishtartor_05.jpg

Mario was writing us periodically with updates so that we [aka Jenny] wouldn't worry. She kept saying things like "I wonder what the boys are doing now," and "I wonder what the boys are doing now." It seemed like they were just hanging out at our apartment drinking and Olli was singing and playing the guitar. He's quite good at it for someone who is self-taught, and it's his biggest passion. We sent them a few pictures too.

Men's Day Fun - Olli (L) and Mario

Sophistication and Culture - Girls' Day at the museum

I am someone who can appreciate museums, but I do have my saturation point. I have to see the coolest stuff first because once I reach that point, I am just wandering around staring at more old stuff instead of appreciating it for how cool it is. I also have persistent lower back pain, compounded by too much time on my feet, so by the time we left the museum my back had fused into one grinding ache.

We went to Dolores, a California-Mexican restaurant. I had no idea that Dolores referred to the Dolores in San Francisco. The walls were plastered with blown-up street maps of the Dolores Park and Mission neighborhoods of the city. I stared at the maps, reliving my memories in that glorious city. The walking tour with my brother that we had to cut short because the poor guy's foot was fractured and he couldn't stand to walk anymore; the day in the park with my cousin, when a guy randomly brought out DJ equipment and was spinning tunes while strangers gathered around and had a mini-dance party, sharing weed and throwing beach balls around; the towering hills rising out of nowhere, making you feel like you were on top of the whole world as you stared down at the entire city... I was nostalgic but Jenny was unimpressed, so instead of blabbing on about SF I just stuffed my face with my vegan burrito bowl, feeling like a cow as twig-sized Jenny picked at her salad.

With our early dinners down the hatch, we headed to a nearby art gallery Jenny had seen online. She's an aspiring photographer and loves going to those things. It was.. Interesting. Very tiny, with only 12 or 13 exhibits crammed into a single small room filled with people. One of the pieces of "art" looked like someone had dug up metal chain link fence posts, painted them pink, and badly taped pieces of paper with Sinhalese writing on them. No joke. The concrete was still on the bottom of the posts. We moved around the room and Jenny gave me her artistic opinion on the art, which ranged from a picture of a man holding a mirror and looking at himself to abstract colors on canvas. There was also a painting of skeletons walking to a funeral, most of whom looked old and somber in pinstriped suits and bowling hats. They had normal bodies and hands, just skull heads. One was even in a wheelchair. And then towards the end there was this sassy voluptuous blond skeleton in a super short skirt and huge boobs, carrying a skull under her arm. Unfortunately there were no explanations of the art, so Jenny and I amused ourselves trying to explain what the heck was happening in this picture. My theory was that the bombshell skeleton was the mistress of the rich old skeleton who died and that's why she was prancing her way to the funeral. But who knows, really?

The room quickly filled up to the point that there was no more room, and we had already done our tour, so we squeezed past the artsy hipsters who were chatting with people like they knew everyone already. They probably did. There was a small camera crew outside interviewing the artists and we stopped to listen for a few minutes, but Jenny could see that I was itching to sit down so we headed back to her apartment for tequila sunrises and girl talk.


Stay tuned for Part 2! It involves a weekend stay in a hospital, 8 stitches, and ruined bloody clothes!

Christmas

Christmas in Germany is pretty much the same thing as in America. Lots of family time, presents, lots of food. There's only one main thing that stands out: they give presents on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day. I personally don't care much one way or the other, but it seems like the German way creates a lot more problems -- it's easy enough to convince kids that Santa came during the night while they were sleeping, but how do you convince them he stopped by on Christmas Eve afternoon?

I spent pretty much a huge chunk of the Christmas week with Mario's family. Christmas Eve - afternoon cake and coffee with his parents and brother, followed by dinner, presents, and more cake.  I was expecting to get a couple of things but not a lot, since we don't see Mario's parents very often and when we do see them, I am mostly just the quiet shadow in the background, too shy to say much in my bumbling German. Not this year -- I had just as many boxes under the tree with my name as the boys, which was quite a pleasant surprise. I've gotten less for Christmas from previous boyfriends' families whom I'd known longer (and actually had conversations with).

Among the spoils were: way over 100eur in gift cards for H&M and IKEA; two months' worth of toiletries and perfume; a 1000 page book (in ENGLISH!) that I devoured in a week; a key holder to hang by the door; and a bag of Christmas chocolate that dwarfs what any kid could hope to bring home for Halloween.

Mario and I were invited back over the next day (25th) for cake and coffee for his grandma Sonja. She's a sweet lady but has Alzheimer's and forgot where the bathroom was 7 times. She also signed Mario's Christmas card twice.

On the 26th we headed back again to his parents' apartment. This time we had dinner and exchanged presents with the extended family -- mom, dad, brother, aunt, uncle, 2 cousins, and an 8 year old nephew. They were all chatting away excitedly in Berliner but from what I could tell, the favorite topic was life in East Germany under the DDR.

They had lots of stories about how the children were left alone at night while the parents went out. The kids were scared, the parents came home to find every single light on in the house, etc.

I finally asked, "Don't you have babysitters here in Germany?" Turns out that under the DDR government, they were all too poor to afford babysitters. Everyone was in the same boat and helped each other out when they could. Instead of paying a babysitter they just put the kids to bed and gave the neighbors a key to the apartment. The neighbors could hear through the walls when the kids cried and would go over to comfort them.

Mario's parents were coming home from one such night out. Their route took them along the wall, which of course was still intact and heavily guarded. The Stasi were extremely heavy-handed about anti-DDR propaganda and it was normal for people to be taken in for questioning and just disappear. Fun fact: their former headquarters are just a block away from our apartment! Makes for a very cozy feel in the neighborhood.
Mario's dad decided just as they were walking along a checkpoint that it was a good time for him to start loudly voicing his [extremely negative and honest] opinions about the soldiers standing guard and the DDR. His wife had to clamp her hands over his mouth and drag him away, fearing that the father of her children would also disappear.
At first glance this story doesn't seem all that crazy. But when you really think about it -- can you imagine going up to a policeman and saying "Hey, you're a dick," and then he beats you and throws you into jail where you rot for the rest of your life -- if you're lucky? And to think it was happening until the late 80s in a country that is as modern as Germany!

After dinner they continued telling stories and we drank the night away until midnight or so, then said goodbye and piled into our cars (with DD's, of course. Germans are very strict about having a designated driver).

So, that was my Christmas. Warm and fuzzy and filled with family, just like in America. Except for the Stasi stories.

Karnaval der Kulturen!

Last weekend Berlin had a huge street party called the Karnaval der Kulturen (Carnival of Cultures..see, German isn't always SO hard).

While the Karnaval lasted all weekend, I heard that Sunday was the best day because of the parade finale. An ex coworker and a current coworker met up to see the event. Words can't express how much I love these two.. They are my favorite people in Berlin. We had so many late Friday nights drinking at the office until 2 am, talking about life and work and everything in between. They both have very different views, but we made a perfect mix. The Three Musketeers, Berlin melting-pot style.  So naturally it was an amazing afternoon.

We started with coffee around 1pm. Then the girlfrend of Jamin, my ex-coworker, joined. She is so chill and laid back and made the perfect addition to our trio. As a happy foursome we left our quiet side street cafe and headed toward the parade. We arrived in time to see the last few floats and found ourselves stuck next to a Brazilian float absolutely blasting samba music, drowning out the poor Southeast Asian group behind it. They had about 8 Berghain-sized speakers on the float, and the little Asian flutes the musicians were playing had no chance. I have a suspicion that it was a sneaky techinque to undermine the competition, since there was a contest for the best float. Who wouldn't win with huge speakers, samba music, and nearly naked dancers parading around in feathers and sequins?

dressed appropriately for the weather

Along the way we stopped to sample (several) capirinhas and daiquiris. It was 95 degrees outside, and there were so many people crowding the streets, blocking any wind. I was practically forced to buy the overpriced delicious cups of ice-filled coldness, I promise.

Bombarded by samba music, we made our way to Jamin and Lil's friends' restaurant -- a tiny foccacia place, more like fast food than a classic Italian restaurant. In the spirit of the party weekend, they had huge speakers and a DJ set up just outside the restaurant. A dull orange carpet covered the entire sidewalk and a hand written sign on cardboard declared the area as a "Dance Floor." Berliners bobbed around in the sun, floating between their tables filled with delicious focaccia/beer and the Dance Floor carpet. A guy randomly wandered over with a hammock, strung it up between two skinny sidewalk trees, and fell asleep listening to the house music. Seriously, I freaking love this city. You can't make this shit up.

After eating and drinking the rest of the caipirinhas, we headed to a spaeti to buy some beer and then went to Viktoriapark across from the foccacia place. It's gorgeous. I was there the weekend before with my friend from Hamburg. The park rises above the street on one of Berlin's only hills, imposing and yet insanely beautiful thanks to the man-made creek and waterfalls that pour down its slopes, topped by a gothic tower. Everytime I see it, I feel like I could be in a Disney movie. Seriously.

goodhardworkingpeople.blogspot.com

We hiked to the top and sat in the grass, enjoying the breeze and talking about the company we work[ed] for. The conversation changed to families and babies, as we were surrounded by them. I guess the festival was a bit too much for the kiddies, and parents preferred a quiet park to the insane streets. Around 6 the lovebirds had to leave. Barbie was long gone, but I wasn't ready to go home just yet. If you've read my other posts, you know that I have no problem with floating around solo. I'm a firm believer that you are your own best friend, and I absolutely hold Charles Bukowski quotes close to my heart (in this particular case, "I had always been good company for myself.") I jumped on the Ubahn and headed back to Mehringdamm, then wandered around the street festival. My plan was to check out the scene solo, hang around until I got bored, then go back to my apt for dinner.

People had set up huge speakers here and there with mini dance parties sprouting around them. I stopped for another caipirinha and found a promising mini party. House music streamed from the big speakers, and a decent crowd of about 100 people bobbed in time to the music under the late afternoon summer sun.

SF or Berlin? You be the judge. Only the buildings might give it away

A party was underway in the 5th floor apartment above the sidewalk and they were filling buckets with water and pouring them on the crowd. The people loved it and screamed for more, dancing soaking wet and not giving a care in the world. I really felt like I was back in San Francisco, albeit a less-costumed version.. But SF vibes were there nonetheless.

A few guys gave me the German "come hither" stare but I was feeling Meh. A few were promising looking, especially the guy in front of me. Small gauges in his ears, aviators, a wifebeater and tight shorts rolled up to the knees. Blond, fit. Typical chill Berlin guy. I checked my watch -- 8pm. I wanted to have a nice relaxing quiet night, so I told myself "5 more minutes, then you'll go." And then one of the guys who had given me the stare did something amazing - he Prosted me. And then, the adventure started.

Coming soon: Part 2

10 Things I learned about winter holidays in Germany

1. Vacation time. Lots of it. I was off from work from the 23rd until the 2nd. That's EIGHT days..12 if you count the weekends (which I do). The last time I had so much obligatory vacation, I was in college. Or unemployed.
2. Drink. Drink drink drink. Mulled wine (Glühwein) at Christmas markets is a wonderful way to warm the hands and the stomach as you huddle with friends in the cold. Add in a shot of rum or amaretto for 50 more cents, and it'll really warm you up. Plus it's a great bargain, for those of you who are cost-considerate. Grog, basically hot water mixed with rum, is definitely not as recommended as Glühwein, but will get the job done. Eierlikör is the German version of egg nog.  And then, if you want something really special.. Feuerzangenbowle is a special rum drink made with FIRE.  Drink with caution. And of course, beer. Because when is beer NOT acceptable in Germany? Answer: never.
   

   

   Glühwein FTW

3. Food. I don't know how many variations Germany has of meat and dumplings, but they are all delicious. Check out this for a recipe. I haven't tried it but the picture looks good..At the very least it'll give you a reference point for my ever-expanding cheeks in FB pictures.

   

   Variations of meat and dumplings at a local restaurant. Soooo delish.

4. Dark. Turn on the lights at 3:30pm because the sun says "Auf Wiedersehen" at 4pm. No wonder they drink so much here. It's freaking depressing.
5. Cold. Temperatures hover around freezing during the day, but the record low is -15. And if there is wind.. forget about it. Just stay inside. Better yet, don't even leave your bed. Because the sun will set soon enough, so you might as well be a proactive sleeper, right? Or, option 2: just drink more Glühwein and you won't feel a thing.
   

   

   Ready to go out now! Maybe.

6. Gray. The vast majority of days are overcast, which means it gets dark even EARLIER than it should. Take full advantage of sunny days, regardless of the temperature outside.
   

   

   Bustin' out the stunna shades, took a picture to commemorate it

7. Christmas markets (Weihnachtsmärkte). If the prevalence of Weihnachtsmärkte is any indication, Germans freaking LOVE Christmas. Around November 20th these little mini villages of Yuletide joy spring up wherever there is space, and you feel like you could be at the North Pole in Santa's backyard.
   
   A Weihnachtsmarkt is not complete without at least all of the following:
   -a Glühwein stand (preferably multiples, because the line can get really long)
   -a sausage stand..because you need something to help with all that rum-infused Glühwein you just drank. And because, well, Germany. It's even better when cooked on a Schwenkgrill, which is basically a circular grill hung by chains over charcoal. The grill swings in a circle over the coals and allows the meat to cook evenly
   -someone selling random clothing items. "Oh yes I've always wanted a fur hat from Russia, the bigger the ear flaps the better, thank you. And yes, while I'm at it, I might as well take a pair of those leggings that look like an ugly Christmas sweater."
   -Christmas lights, sparkling from inside boughs of evergreen and dangling in bright strands from buildings
   -Lebkuchen. Heart-shaped gingerbread-ish cookies, often with little messages on them (seasonal messages like "Merry Christmas" or romantic things like "I love you")
   

   

   This just screams Christmas to me

   

   Lebkuchen

   

   A Schwenkgrill
8. New Year's is not to be messed with. The fireworks started on the morning of the 31st and never stopped. I thought "So this is kind of what living in a war zone must sound like." And then after midnight...I've never seen so many unprofessional fireworks in one area before. The air was literally clouded with firework smoke. But it was amazing.. People rushed outside with their drinks still in hand to watch the fireworks, and everyone was in a great mood. It was the perfect way to start off the new year -- a little bit dangerous (alcohol+explosives, not good bedfellows), but fun and carefree and so congenial and warm at the same time.
   

   

   Totally safe. 100%.

9. Friends. When it's dark and dreary and cold outside, it's easy to feel down. Especially for me. Sometimes I think my overall mood is directly tied to the weather.  So for me, friends and the times I spend with them - be it exploring Christmas markets, dancing the night away, or just enjoying a beer in my favorite Wedding pub - are essential in winter
   

   

   Vagabund

   

   Chasing away the winter blues

   

   Just a normal night in Muellerstr

10. Love. If you were smitten with Berlin before, you will fall head over heels with her. She looks so beautiful all decorated for Christmas with lights and evergreen everywhere, and then once she gets you hooked on Glühwein and innocent Christmas spirit, she shows her crazy, dangerous, dirty party side at New Year's. But by this time you are already so deep in love that you don't care. She's kind of like a girl you bring home from the party because she was so beautiful and dolled up and fun, almost irresistible.. And then you wake up the next morning, see her without her makeup and skimpy dress, and wonder "Who the hell is this?? What have I done??" But then you remember how awesome she was the night before and it doesn't matter anymore. Because as long as you love Berlin, she will love you back. And that's really the only thing that matters.

Frohes neues Jahr! Happy New Year!

So, apparently Berliners really love NYE. Ever since Christmas people have been setting off a few fireworks, but nothing like yesterday. Starting early in the morning, the booming that echoed around the city never stopped. I felt like I was living in a war zone. "Berlin or Baghdad?" joked my roommate.

Obviously, I've known that New Year's was coming up for quite some time, but I couldn't get motivated enough to really plan anything.  I knew for sure that I didn't want to buy a ticket for a party in a club. You pay 10x the normal admission for the same club, only decorated with some silver streamers and balloons. You better hope the crowd and music are good, because you just forked over $70 (drinks not included) to be trapped in the same space for the next 6 hours. I made this mistake in 2013 and it sucked.

It was starting to look like the same sad story as Christmas Eve -- everyone was invited somewhere else, and I was not about to invite myself along to a stranger's party as a +1..But then I got a text from Andy, my ex-coworker who spent Christmas with me.  He's also a recent transplant to Berlin and was in the same boat. Suddenly New Year's was looking better!

We were thinking of going to Brandenburger Tor, which is Germany's version of the Times Square NYE.  Literally about a million people gather for almost a mile in front of the Brandenburger Tor to party and ring in the new year together.  A huge stage is set up and bands, DJs, or singers perform (this year was Trans Siberian Orchestra). News anchors wander around with a mic and it's broadcasted across Germany. At midnight they have an amazing fireworks display.  I have a sneaking suspicion it's mostly a tourist thing to do, or maybe one of those "Do it once just to say you did it" things, because I asked a few Berliners about it and not only have they never been there, but they expressed absolutely no interest in ever going.

I don't blame them -- you are outside in the freezing cold, trying to keep your holiday buzz going, then using port-a-potties that 100,000 people used before you, waiting in never-ending lines for beer, and it's dangerous! It's got a bad reputation for crazy people shooting fireworks into the crowd.  Why deal with that when you can have a house party in a warm flat with your best friends (and be protected from flaming, exploding projectiles)?

With Brandenburger Tor out of the picture, we decided on an Irish pub near Oranienburger Tor.  There are lots of bars around, so it would be easy for us to hop from one to the next. Oscar Wilde is a typical Irish pub -- lots of wood and leather, booth seating, and good beer on tap. All in all a solid place.  They've got a second room in the back with an additional bar plus a stage, where a guy was playing and singing traditional songs plus Mumford and Sons-type covers.

The crowd was some Germans and (unsurprisingly) a few groups of Brits. It was fun! The singer started the countdown to midnight and then led us in Auld Lang Syne.  And then.. The bar was literally deserted in a matter of minutes as everyone rushed outside to see the fireworks. They were EVERYWHERE. In the street, on the sidewalk, shooting from apartment windows.. People had been shooting them off literally all day but this was incredible.  We found a big intersection overlooking a canal and watched the fireworks as party boats floated by, crowded with people waving at us.

Afterwards we hit up die Berliner Republik, a restaurant/bar nearby with a dance floor and boogied down for a couple of hours. The DJ was playing a really huge mix of music.. Martin Garrix - Animals, Eiffel 65 - Blue, David Guetta - Sexy Chick, Culture Beat - Mr. Vain, and even.. Will Smith's Fresh Prince rap.  The Germans really liked that one for some reason--everyone was singing it.  There was a huge mix of people, too. Some 20-somethings, 40-somethings, even a few 60+-somethings were getting their dance on.  There was this hilarious couple dancing next to us. They had to be in their 50s but they were having so much fun and were so into each other, taking silly pictures, dancing, flirting.. It was really heartwarming to see them together. I want something like that someday.

Afterwards I headed over to Mir's apartment. The Ubahn stopped at Seestr so I had to walk a ways..The streets were mostly empty in our neighborhood, but the party-goers had left the streets looking like the set of a zombie movie. The hike was worth it, though -- he had a Berliner (a fluffy donut filled with jelly and glazed to perfection), a bottle of champagne, and a New Year's kiss waiting for me. A perfect ending to a fun night and a rollercoaster year.

dancing the night away and having fun with NYE decorations

Fireworks in the streets

Watching fireworks!

I stole an ornament. Look of pure evil glee on my face

Go to my youtube channel to see videos from the night..

Christmas Cheer

Ok, so my holiday wasn't the best this year, to be honest.. Many of the people I know are expats from other countries, and all returned home for the holidays.  Of the friends who were left in Berlin, most already had plans. Either having their own dinner party, or being hosted by another.. And I was hesitant to invite myself along.

I had an amazing brunch with an amazing person.. But that only takes up so much of the day, and I was back home around 6pm.

So, on the 24th, I listened to Christmas music. I tried (and failed) to call my grandma. Several times.  This technology thing only works if you pick up the phone, Grandma! So after leaving her a holiday voicemail, I made a healthy dinner and hunkered down in my bed with my laptop-fueled Christmas movie marathon and a bottle of wine.

Was it kind of sad? Yes. But as an expat in a totally new country and city, sometimes these things happen. As an expat you have to be self-sufficient and not mind doing things alone, at least some of the time. So while a bit sad, I was still happy knowing that I am here in Berlin, that I have friends and family who love me from afar, and that I am fortunate enough to have a nice warm bed to snuggle into.

Honestly, I was more disappointed that it has been unseasonably warm and we didn't have a white Christmas. Heck we didn't even have a rainy Christmas. It was just kind of overcast.

The 25th was better. My roommate woke up and we had a bottle of wine with lunch to celebrate Christmas ("My breakfast!" he said, toasting me). Then we took a nap and woke up to prepare dinner for my ex coworker Andy, who was in the same boat as me -- an expat with nothing special to do on Christmas Day.

We had a great antipasti course (pickled garlic, roasted red peppers, bruschetta, olives, and cream cheese-stuffed hot peppers) and fun conversation

Cooking hard for the guys

Thumbs up for my dinner.. Chicken and cannelloni beans in a white wine sauce with seared green beans. Plus some bread from the Turkish bakery downstairs, because they were the only ones open on Christmas Day 

Later on we started getting kind of crazy due to the excessive flow of wine...

According to the timestamp, this picture was taken around 2am..? Andy was eating Nutella and got some on his teeth so I had to join in too.  And now I'm putting it on the internet for you to see as well