- Work
- TV shows
- Language
- Nothing real to write about
- Love problems
- Family problems
#4 "Nothing real to write about"
What does that mean, exactly? I didn't want to start this blog as a diary, only writing about what I did that day. It's boring and narcissistic, and honestly I have no desire to air what I do on a day to day basis. Just like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Berlin stays in Berlin. Unless you were there, in which case words aren't necessary. I want each post to mean something and share information -- be it about a place I go to, a person I know, the city itself, etc. Just writing "So I went to work today, and we had a new hire..." is just blah. I don't need to write about it, and you don't need to hear about it. Unless you are creepy/weird. And there are many adventures you just don't need to hear about.
#3. Language
I have always loved languages and learning them. In school I mastered Spanish (and then forgot it through disuse), dabbled in German, and mastered French. Thankfully I've held on to French and can force myself to speak some halting Spanish if I need to. I live in Germany now, but Berlin is such an international city (and the national level of English is so high) that I really don't need to use German much at all. Greetings, numbers, and practical knowledge of food items and prepositions along with some key verbs has served me well. But that's not enough for me. This is a huge opportunity to really become fluent in a new language, and so I set a goal to study German for at least an hour a day. I found a website called Duolingo that does a wonderful job of gamifying the effort of learning language. I will probably write another post about it because this is already getting long.. But yes in a nutshell, I'm devoting lots of time to a) learning German and b) restarting my French studies so I can retain that beautiful language that has become such a passion for me.
What does that mean, exactly? I didn't want to start this blog as a diary, only writing about what I did that day. It's boring and narcissistic, and honestly I have no desire to air what I do on a day to day basis. Just like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Berlin stays in Berlin. Unless you were there, in which case words aren't necessary. I want each post to mean something and share information -- be it about a place I go to, a person I know, the city itself, etc. Just writing "So I went to work today, and we had a new hire..." is just blah. I don't need to write about it, and you don't need to hear about it. Unless you are creepy/weird. And there are many adventures you just don't need to hear about.
#3. Language
I have always loved languages and learning them. In school I mastered Spanish (and then forgot it through disuse), dabbled in German, and mastered French. Thankfully I've held on to French and can force myself to speak some halting Spanish if I need to. I live in Germany now, but Berlin is such an international city (and the national level of English is so high) that I really don't need to use German much at all. Greetings, numbers, and practical knowledge of food items and prepositions along with some key verbs has served me well. But that's not enough for me. This is a huge opportunity to really become fluent in a new language, and so I set a goal to study German for at least an hour a day. I found a website called Duolingo that does a wonderful job of gamifying the effort of learning language. I will probably write another post about it because this is already getting long.. But yes in a nutshell, I'm devoting lots of time to a) learning German and b) restarting my French studies so I can retain that beautiful language that has become such a passion for me.
#1. Work
I got a promotion in February. Now I am officially the manager of the US Team at the company. It was easy enough when we only had 4 people, but now we are double that and looking to hire even more. The entire company is growing at the same rate, which means that what could squeeze by as make-do before just isn't cutting it anymore. I'm spending more and more time in meetings, training, creating workflows and processes, and keeping my little family happy and productive. We (I) have to deliver results and I'm spending probably 75% of my waking hours trying to figure out exactly how to do that, and how to be a good manager.
#2. Tv shows
After work instead of staying up until 4 or 5 (or even 6am, sometimes) blogging, I was happy to just shut off my brain and watch TV. Germany is a strange place -- music is heavily restricted on Youtube through an institution called GEMA, which sucks. And they heavily monitor torrents and P2P (peer to peer, aka illegal) file sharing. However, apparently it's totally legal to stream whatever TV shows and movies you want.
I started watching Suits, which is an awesome (if glorified) show about high flying corporate lawyers in NYC. I was also getting caught up with Mad Men. I'm still getting caught up -- halfway there. The episodes are just SO long that I can't be bothered sometimes. And then, my French colleague told me about this ABSOLUTELY amazing series called "Les Revenants." I started it with the intention of not losing my French skills, but it's so well done that it sucked me in and I devoured the first season. Happily I finished it (it leaves you with a huge cliffhanger, of course) and went to search the internets for season 2...only to find that while it was originally aired in 2012, the next season is only just now being filmed and won't be broadcast until the end of this year. "What a bummer" doesn't begin to cover it. If you can find a subbed (or at least dubbed) version, DO IT. But don't say I didn't warn you about season 2.
#6. Family problems
These have a huge contributing factor to #5, so they go first. A few weeks ago I had some really bad news. My mom went to the doctor about a cyst, and the doctor thought it looked suspicious. He wanted to get it tested, and the results came back suspiciously like bone cancer. So, imagine my reaction when I called home for a nice chat and got the news that my mom might have cancer.
5. Love problems
It was getting harder and harder to see M because of schedule conflicts, and apparently both being workaholics. He was working literally every single day to earn money for a vacation. I was working literally every single day to stay on top of everything I had to do at work. Between the two of our schedules, there was literally no time for us to see each other for several weeks. And then he went on vacation -- another week of occasional FB messaging -- and just when the light at the end of the tunnel was visible, his new semester started. And then I told him about my mom, and instead of coming over to be with me, he didn't. And that really shocked me and made me rethink everything about our relationship. I firmly believe that you are who you spend your time with and allow into your life, and I have no space for shit like that. I broke up with him the next day. He apologized during a long talk a week later, and we decided to try again..but I couldn't really move past his reaction to my bad news. To pull from that Marilyn Monroe quote that floats around the net: If he's going to run away during a bad time, does he deserve the good times? Sadly my answer was no.
So.. That is where I am now. Working a lot, trying my hardest to balance having a happy team and increasing our output while figuring out how to be a leader and not just a manager. I love it, though. One of the team members started calling me "Mama Chick" and I love it. My team is the most amazing group of little chicks I could ask for.
In between working at work and figuring out how to be a good leader and not just a manager, I've been taking lots of time for myself. Spring is here in Berlin and I've been spending a lot of time outside by myself and less time clubbing. My favorite weekend past time is walking a couple of miles to a large park nearby and sitting in the sun with a good book and a Club Mate. I also signed up for an online conference about meditation and although I couldn't watch all 33 speakers, I got to watch some really good sessions. I will save the details for another post, but the change I've seen in just shifting my thinking has been amazing.
So, I leave you on a positive note! Peace, love, gratitude, and living in the present moment trumps anxiety, fear, and worry. Take a moment to realize that everything that is happening in your life is only fleeting, and that you have the power to change it all with just a single thought. Each time I feel the wind, see the sun, or pass a person on the street I take a second to appreciate it and my heart wells up with love and contentment. It's so easy to let the small things pass us by, but it's all these tiny things that make up what life really is. Enjoy it while it's here -- don't make each moment precious, because it already is. Instead, realize that it's precious
I got a promotion in February. Now I am officially the manager of the US Team at the company. It was easy enough when we only had 4 people, but now we are double that and looking to hire even more. The entire company is growing at the same rate, which means that what could squeeze by as make-do before just isn't cutting it anymore. I'm spending more and more time in meetings, training, creating workflows and processes, and keeping my little family happy and productive. We (I) have to deliver results and I'm spending probably 75% of my waking hours trying to figure out exactly how to do that, and how to be a good manager.
#2. Tv shows
After work instead of staying up until 4 or 5 (or even 6am, sometimes) blogging, I was happy to just shut off my brain and watch TV. Germany is a strange place -- music is heavily restricted on Youtube through an institution called GEMA, which sucks. And they heavily monitor torrents and P2P (peer to peer, aka illegal) file sharing. However, apparently it's totally legal to stream whatever TV shows and movies you want.
I started watching Suits, which is an awesome (if glorified) show about high flying corporate lawyers in NYC. I was also getting caught up with Mad Men. I'm still getting caught up -- halfway there. The episodes are just SO long that I can't be bothered sometimes. And then, my French colleague told me about this ABSOLUTELY amazing series called "Les Revenants." I started it with the intention of not losing my French skills, but it's so well done that it sucked me in and I devoured the first season. Happily I finished it (it leaves you with a huge cliffhanger, of course) and went to search the internets for season 2...only to find that while it was originally aired in 2012, the next season is only just now being filmed and won't be broadcast until the end of this year. "What a bummer" doesn't begin to cover it. If you can find a subbed (or at least dubbed) version, DO IT. But don't say I didn't warn you about season 2.
#6. Family problems
These have a huge contributing factor to #5, so they go first. A few weeks ago I had some really bad news. My mom went to the doctor about a cyst, and the doctor thought it looked suspicious. He wanted to get it tested, and the results came back suspiciously like bone cancer. So, imagine my reaction when I called home for a nice chat and got the news that my mom might have cancer.
5. Love problems
It was getting harder and harder to see M because of schedule conflicts, and apparently both being workaholics. He was working literally every single day to earn money for a vacation. I was working literally every single day to stay on top of everything I had to do at work. Between the two of our schedules, there was literally no time for us to see each other for several weeks. And then he went on vacation -- another week of occasional FB messaging -- and just when the light at the end of the tunnel was visible, his new semester started. And then I told him about my mom, and instead of coming over to be with me, he didn't. And that really shocked me and made me rethink everything about our relationship. I firmly believe that you are who you spend your time with and allow into your life, and I have no space for shit like that. I broke up with him the next day. He apologized during a long talk a week later, and we decided to try again..but I couldn't really move past his reaction to my bad news. To pull from that Marilyn Monroe quote that floats around the net: If he's going to run away during a bad time, does he deserve the good times? Sadly my answer was no.
So.. That is where I am now. Working a lot, trying my hardest to balance having a happy team and increasing our output while figuring out how to be a leader and not just a manager. I love it, though. One of the team members started calling me "Mama Chick" and I love it. My team is the most amazing group of little chicks I could ask for.
In between working at work and figuring out how to be a good leader and not just a manager, I've been taking lots of time for myself. Spring is here in Berlin and I've been spending a lot of time outside by myself and less time clubbing. My favorite weekend past time is walking a couple of miles to a large park nearby and sitting in the sun with a good book and a Club Mate. I also signed up for an online conference about meditation and although I couldn't watch all 33 speakers, I got to watch some really good sessions. I will save the details for another post, but the change I've seen in just shifting my thinking has been amazing.
So, I leave you on a positive note! Peace, love, gratitude, and living in the present moment trumps anxiety, fear, and worry. Take a moment to realize that everything that is happening in your life is only fleeting, and that you have the power to change it all with just a single thought. Each time I feel the wind, see the sun, or pass a person on the street I take a second to appreciate it and my heart wells up with love and contentment. It's so easy to let the small things pass us by, but it's all these tiny things that make up what life really is. Enjoy it while it's here -- don't make each moment precious, because it already is. Instead, realize that it's precious
